No matter how hard you might try, you can't just flip a switch when you step into the office and turn your emotions off. Feeling feelings is part of being human.

不管你怎么努力，都無法在踏入辦公室時(shí)輕輕按下開關(guān)，就此屏蔽你的情感。感受自身的情緒是生而為人的一部分。

（The Way We Work）A pervasive myth exists that emotions don't belong at work, and this often leads us to mistakenly equate professionalism with being stoic or even cold. But research shows that in the moments when our colleagues drop their glossy professional presentation, we're actually much more likely to believe what they're telling us.

（我們的工作方式）主流的觀念認(rèn)為情感應(yīng)該被排斥在工作之外，這常常導(dǎo)致我們錯(cuò)誤地將專業(yè)素養(yǎng)等同于堅(jiān)忍甚至冷酷。但是研究表明，當(dāng)我們的同事卸下了光鮮的專業(yè)姿態(tài)，我們更有可能相信他們說的話。

We feel connected to the people around us. We try harder, we perform better and we're just generally kinder. So it's about time that we learn how to embrace emotion at work. Now, that's not to say you should suddenly become a feelings fire hose.

我們覺得自己和周圍的人建立了聯(lián)系。我們會更努力，表現(xiàn)得更好，也會變得更加寬容。因此，現(xiàn)在是我們學(xué)習(xí)如何在工作中擁抱情感的時(shí)候了。這并不是說你可以立刻開始發(fā)泄情緒。

A line exists between sharing, which builds trust, and oversharing, which destroys it. If you suddenly let your feelings run wild at work and give people far more information than they bargained for, you make everyone around you uncomfortable and you also undermine yourself.

界線就在促進(jìn)信任的分享行為與破壞信任的過度分享之間。如果你突然在工作中盡情地表達(dá)情緒，給人們超出他們需求量的信息，你讓你周圍的每個(gè)人都不舒服，你也損害了自己。

You're more likely to be seen as weak or lacking self awareness, so, great to say you weren't feeling well last night -- you don't need to go into every lurid detail about how you got reacquainted with your half-digested dinner. So there's a wide spectrum of emotional expression.

你更有可能被視為軟弱或缺乏自我意識，所以，你可以說你昨晚過得不太好，但不必詳細(xì)描述那頓難以消化的晚餐。因此，表達(dá)情緒的程度范圍很廣。

On one hand, you have under-emoters, or people who have a hard time talking about their feelings, and on the other end are over-emoters, those who constantly share everything that's going on inside, and neither of these make for a healthy workplace. So what's the balance between these two extremes?

一方面，存在“匱乏表達(dá)者”，或是那些很難傳遞自我情緒的人。另一方面，存在“過度表達(dá)者”，他們無時(shí)無刻不在分享內(nèi)心的每一個(gè)感受。這兩種方法都不能營造健康的工作環(huán)境。那么二者之間的平衡是什么呢？

It's something called selective vulnerability. Selective vulnerability is opening up while still prioritizing stability and psychological safety, both for you and for your colleagues. Luckily, anyone can learn to be selectively vulnerable, with practice. Here are four ways to get started.

這就是所謂的選擇性脆弱?！斑x擇性脆弱”是在敞開心扉的同時(shí)依然顧及你與同事們的心理安全感與穩(wěn)定性。幸運(yùn)的是，任何人都可以通過練習(xí)學(xué)會有選擇性脆弱?？梢杂靡韵滤姆N方式開始練習(xí)。

First, flag your feelings without becoming emotionally leaky. Bad moods are contagious, and even if you're not vocalizing what you're feeling, chances are your body language or your expressions are a dead giveaway.

首先，表達(dá)你的感受，而不過度宣泄情緒。壞情緒會傳染，即使沒有說出你的感受，肢體語言和表情也很有可能傳達(dá)出糟糕的信息。

So if you are crossing your arms or hammering on your keyboard, your coworkers are going to know you're upset. And if you don't say anything, they might start to think it's about them and get worried. So if you are reacting to a non-work-related event, so traffic for example, just flag it.

所以如果你交叉雙臂或用力敲擊鍵盤，同事們就會發(fā)現(xiàn)你不開心。如果你什么都不說，他們也許會擔(dān)心是自己導(dǎo)致了你的壞心情。所以當(dāng)你的情緒與工作無關(guān)時(shí)，比如是由于路上堵車，就可以直接表明。

You don't need to go into detail. You can say something as simple as 'I'm having a bad morning. It has nothing to do with you.' Now if it's a work-related event that's causing you to feel strong emotions, that brings us to point number two.

你不需要詳細(xì)說明。只要簡單地說“我今早真倒霉，并不是你的問題?！本蛪蛄?。然而，如果的確是工作上的事導(dǎo)致你產(chǎn)生了強(qiáng)烈的情緒，這就要用到第二種方式。這就要用到第二種方式。

Try to understand the need behind your emotion, and then address that need. If you suddenly start to find everyone around you irritating, sit back and reflect on that. And it might be that you're irritable because you're anxious, and you're anxious because you're worried about hitting a looming deadline.

試著理解你情緒背后的需要，并且滿足這種需求。如果你突然發(fā)現(xiàn)周圍的人都在惹你生氣，坐下來好好想想是為什么。也許你很煩躁是因?yàn)槟愫芙箲]，而焦慮來自于某項(xiàng)工作的截止日期正在逼近。

And in that case, you can go back to your team to address that need and say something like, 'I want to make sure I get everything done ahead of the deadline. Can you help me put together a realistic plan to do that?' If you're thinking of sharing, try and put yourself in the other person's shoes.

在這種情況下，你可以回到團(tuán)隊(duì)中處理這種需求，比如告訴大家：“我希望在期限前完成工作，你們能幫我一起制定一個(gè)可行的計(jì)劃嗎？“如果你在考慮分享你的情緒，試試設(shè)身處地為他人著想。

So if what you're about to say would help you feel more supported and better understand the situation, then go ahead and share it. But if it gives you any kind of pause, you might want to leave it out. And finally, read the room and provide a path forward.

所以如果你要說的話能讓你收到更多的支持和更好的理解，那就去分享吧。但如果你對此感到遲疑，你也許更愿意略去不提。最后，察覺氣氛并指出進(jìn)展的方向。

If everyone on your team has been pulling long hours, and you notice that one of your colleagues seems particularly deflated or anxious, you can acknowledge that and show some empathy, but then try to give them something actionable that they could hold on to.

如果你團(tuán)隊(duì)中的每個(gè)人都在加班加點(diǎn)，而你發(fā)現(xiàn)有一位同事顯得特別沮喪或焦慮，你可以承認(rèn)這一點(diǎn)并且適當(dāng)?shù)毓睬?。但接著你得指明一些對方能做到的事情?/p>

And in this case, you could suggest that you go to your manager and ask that your weekly meeting be pushed back a day so you both have more time to work. You're showing you're invested in their success, but also that you care about their well-being.

在這種情況下，你可以建議自己去和經(jīng)理商量把本周的例會推遲一天，這樣你們都會有更多的時(shí)間處理工作。這樣既展現(xiàn)了你對團(tuán)隊(duì)成功的信心，也表達(dá)了你對同事的關(guān)懷。

When we can be honest about what we feel, and freely suggest ideas, make mistakes and just not have to hide every piece of who we are, we're much more likely to stay at the company for a long time. We're also happier and more productive.

當(dāng)我們真誠地面對自己的感受，自由地提出意見，勇于試錯(cuò)，不必隱藏每一點(diǎn)真實(shí)的自己，我們更可能長久地在一家公司工作。我們也更快樂，更有效率。

So take a moment to reflect on the emotional expression that you bring to work each day. And if you are prone to oversharing, try editing. And if you're a little bit more reserved, look for moments when you can open up to your colleagues and be a bit vulnerable.

所以，花點(diǎn)時(shí)間思考一下你每天工作中的情感表達(dá)。如果你有過度分享的傾向，試著縮減一點(diǎn)。如果你傾向于沉默，尋找你能向同事敞開心扉，變得“脆弱”的時(shí)刻。

And chances are, there will be a big difference in how people respond to you. And selective vulnerability might just become one of your most valuable tools.

很有可能，人們對你的反應(yīng)會有很大的不同。“選擇性脆弱”也許會成為你最有價(jià)值的工具之一。