
為什么我還不夠好?
首先 好好洗個澡 你不想渾身惡臭的
然后 挑一件時下流行的衣服
這使你不會淪為學(xué)校里眾人的笑柄
第三 化點妝 至少別那么難看地出現(xiàn)在大家面前
可能你自己都不認識自己了
你的臉刺痛著非常癢
但就算癢得不行你也不能卸妝
否則你就毀掉了在你的丑臉上耗費了幾個小時的妝容
第四 別忘了給你的頭發(fā)燙個優(yōu)美的卷
你不能讓學(xué)校里的人看到
你的頭發(fā)像個觸電的猴子般凌亂
第五 把你肥碩的腳擠進一雙會磨出血和水泡的匡威里
學(xué)校里大家都會穿的那種
你可不能成為不合群的那個
這一刻 當(dāng)你在凝視鏡中的自己時
你會看到一個陌生人
她似乎偷走了你的身體
并以一個全然不同的女孩子取而代之
你全身上下都是那么別扭
你花了幾個小時來試著變漂亮
但盡管如此
你也永遠不會和學(xué)校里那些漂亮姑娘一樣的
你默默忍住幾滴眼淚
但卻感覺
壓抑了海嘯般鋪天蓋地的情感
你不能讓別人察覺到你的眼淚
不然他們就不會像往常那樣尊重你了
哦 可能他們從來就沒尊重過吧
為什么我就這么糟呢?
美麗太沉重了
第六 走下公交車
第七 加入一群人 跟他們一起走到學(xué)校
因為 天知道 你是忍受不了孤獨的
但你根本就不喜歡那幫人
他們是一群討厭的家伙
總開惡心的玩笑
他們也取笑你 放肆地沖你大笑
你明知不該跟他們走得太近
但是 嘿
他們可是學(xué)校里的“風(fēng)云人物”啊
而你 非常渴望被人喜歡
就像人們喜歡這些人一樣
你才是被套上枷鎖的那個人
人們向你投擲西紅柿來審判你
向你毫無保護的小腦袋
扔充滿恨意的爛菜葉子
而你無法保護自己
因為你是孤立無援的 是身陷囹圄的 是無力抵抗的
你無法保護自己
還因為那些“風(fēng)云人物”
代表了學(xué)校里至高無上的權(quán)力
他們說什么都是對的
你只能忍氣吞聲接受
每句評論 每個判決 每種猜測
每個看法 每個鄙夷的眼神 每個標簽
每句批判 每次審核 每條傳言 每個評價
而這讓你的自尊土崩瓦解
像一艘破船一樣下沉
下沉
下沉
下沉
直至沉入黑暗和陰郁的海底
你看著其他女孩子時
無數(shù)想法傾瀉而出:
我也想有那么漂亮的眼睛!
我也想有那么柔順的秀發(fā)!
我也想像她那么苗條!
我也想有她那么整齊潔白的牙齒!
我也想和她一樣自信!
我也想像她一樣得到男生們的好感!
我為什么就沒那么好呢?
生活太不公平了
第八 好好寫作業(yè)
這是你人生中唯一有解的部分
你以學(xué)業(yè)為豪
這可能是僅存的一項值得你夸耀的東西
你努力學(xué)習(xí)
為了看到老師在贊賞你時 臉上熠熠生輝的笑容
老師的贊揚是一場天降的甘霖
帶來美麗的彩虹
是一道燦爛的陽光
照亮你心中一片甜美的花園
這是你僅存的少數(shù)幸福瞬間
但聰明并不能使你受歡迎
事實上在別人眼中 你就是個書呆子
“死腦筋” “人肉計算器” “高分低能” “怪人” “老師的寵兒” “馬屁精”
他們用你能想到的任何惡語攻擊你
嫉妒如空氣污染一般吞噬掉你的彩虹
如推土機一般毀掉你心中的花朵
這些莫名其妙的東西像一個天降的bug
摧毀了你的幸福
優(yōu)秀的成績除了折磨
并不能為你帶來任何好處
為什么?難道我還不夠好嗎?
還是算了吧
第九 漫長的一天終于來到盡頭
準備上床睡覺吧
第十 脫掉衣服 穿上睡衣
哇 我今天又胖了嗎?
第十一 放下你的頭發(fā)
哇 我的頭發(fā)亂得像個拖布一樣
第十二 卸妝
我都不敢照鏡子了
這就是我生活的每天每夜
我無法掌控它
人們告訴我
你不能把蘋果和橙子放在一起比較
人們告訴我
你的個性太扭曲了
人們告訴我
你要為成為自己而感恩
這些年的中學(xué)生活里
你要獨自一人踏上尋找自我的旅程
有些時候 你沒法控制發(fā)生在你身上的事
激流會把你推離航線
但是變得受歡迎并不總是件好事
你告訴自己
我只是想被人喜歡 被人接納
但是為了變瘦不吃飯和割腕并不能解決這個問題
你渴望變成別的女孩子
但當(dāng)她們看到你時
也希望能成為你
大家都覺得
女孩子就應(yīng)該有腰細膚白巨乳豐臀
大家都覺得
女孩子就應(yīng)該濃妝艷抹貌美如花
大家都覺得
女孩子就應(yīng)該衣著暴露 和男孩們亂搞
這樣才會開心 才會酷
但他們錯了
你才是被愛的那個
你才是特別的那個
你才是美麗的那個
你才是聰慧的那個
你才是才華橫溢的那個
你能贏得所有的尊重
你可以放開了吃東西
你是70億人中不可或缺的一個
最重要的是
你已經(jīng)足夠美好了
英文版:
Why am I not good enough?
One
Take a shower. You don’t want to smell.
Two
Pick out an outfit that will fit in with the latest trends and won’t make you the laughing stock at school, more than you already are.
Three
Put on some make-up so you can actually show your face in public and be a little bit pretty. You can’t even recognize yourself and your face tingles with an unbelievable itch you can’t satisfy otherwise you’ll have ruined the hours of meticulous pain you applied to your hideous face.
Four
Don’t forget to style your hair in elegant curls. You can’t let everyone at school see how your hair frizzes up like an electrocuted monkey, naturally.
Five
Shove your fat feet into those toe-pitching, blood blistering converse that everyone at school is wearing, and you cannot be the odd one out.
As you gaze into the bathroom mirror, you see a stranger that somehow stole your reflection and replaced it with a completely different girl. Every part of your outfit is uncomfortable. But even though you spend hours trying to look pretty, you will neverbe as good as those other girls at school.
You are actually holding back a few tears, but you feel like you are holding back a tsunami of emotion. You can’t let everyone else know how you feel or else they will never respect you the same way they used to. Or did they ever. “Why am I not good enough?” Beauty is pain.
Six
Get off the bus.
Seven
Find a group of people you could walk to class with because heaven knows you can’t just walk alone.
But you don’t even like these people. They cuss and make dirty jokes a lot, and they laugh and make fun of you. You know you shouldn’t hang out with them. But hey, they are the popular kids, and you just want people to like you, like they like them.
You are in the stocks, as people throw judging tomatoes and hating heads of lettuce at your insecure little head.
You cannot stand up for yourself, because you are alone, trapped, and defenseless. And you cannot stand up for yourself, because these popular kids are like the royalty of the school, and that apparently what they say and do, goes.
You take each comment, each judgement, each assumption, each opinion, each strange look, each mark, each criticism, each review, each report, each assessment, and with it, your self-esteem plummets, like a sinking ship. Down, down, down. Into the dark and dreary depths below.
You look at all the other girls, your mind racing a mile a minute. “I wish I had her eyes. I wish I had her hair. I wish I was as skinny asher. I wish I had her perfectly straight white teeth. I wish that I had hersocial confidence. I wish as many boys like me as they liked her. ”
“Why am I not good enough?” Life isn’t fair.
Eight
Get your work done. The only part of your life that seems solvable is the actual school work. You take pride in your work, because it is possibly the only thing special about you.
You do it to see the radiant smiles on your teachers’ faces as they applaud your work. The joyful praise is the gentle rainthat brings forth a magnificent rainbow. The radiant sunshine that brings forthfields of sweet daisies——One of the only things that brings you happiness.
But it is not popular to be smart. In fact, you are seen as a nerd.
Too smart. Human calculator. Brainiac, geek, teacher’s pet, suck up——whatever wonderful name you could think of.
Your peers’ jealousy is the pollution that prevents a rainbow. The bulldozer that plows through the fields of once-golden daisies. The intangible object that crushes your happiness like a bug. “A”s are getting you nothing but torment.
“Why, am I not good enough?” Just get over it.
Nine
It’s the end of the day, get ready for bed.
Ten
Undress, get your pyjamas on. “Wow, did I get fatter today?”
Eleven
Undo your hair. Wow, my hair looks like a mop.
Twelve
Wash off all your make-up. I can’t even look at myself.
This is my life, every day. I can’t control it.
I’ve been told I can’t compare apples and oranges. I’ve been told I’m distorted, I’ve been told I have to be grateful for who I am.
But going through your middle school years, you are onyour own journey to find yourself on a small jet. And sometimes, you cannot control what happens to you. The turbulence will throw you off course.
But, popular isn’t always a good thing. You tell yourself “I just want people to like me, I just want to be accepted”. But skipping meals and marking up your wrist isn’t going to fix that. You look at other girls wishing you were them, but other girls are looking at you, wishing they were you.
Society infers, girls have to have skinny waists, tan skin, long silky hair, perfectly straight teeth, big butts and etc.
Society infers, girls have to wear tons of make-up to be pretty.
Society infers, girls have to wear skanky clothing and do inappropriate things with boys to be happy and considered cool.
But society is wrong.
You are loved. You are precious. You are beautiful. You are talented. You are capable. You are deserving of respect. You can eat that meal. You are one in seven billion.
And most of all, you are good enough.