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全國卷I：滿分范文一 滿分文(一) Dear Peter, I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor. Since Im quite interested in English, I would like to make an English pen friend to improve my writing. Can you introduce one to me? My ideal pen friend should be of my age, and a boy will be better. A boy who likes traveling and football will be a good candidate. In my opinion, the guy of my age will share almost the same experiences as me and it is easier to talk to each other. We can share our feelings of traveling and football. If possible, I hope that he likes pets. Hope you can find me an ideal pen friend.Thank you. Best regards, Li Hua 名師點評： 本文屬于比較“平”的文章，即穩(wěn)中求勝。文章沒有華麗的詞語，但是使用了一些短語和結(jié)構(gòu)，能夠獲得老師的欣賞。首句是個原因狀語從句。文章也運用了定語從句來修飾boy，比較好。If possible這個省略句則表明作者對這類狀語從句的熟悉。 積累卡片 好詞：1. candidate n.候選人2.share with 與…分享 好句：In my opinion, the guy of my age will share almost the same experiences as me and it is easier to talk to each other.在我看來，像我這樣年齡的男生和我會有更多的共同語言。 好處：復雜句的組合很好。 滿分文(二) Dear Peter, I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor. I have been learning English for two years and I hope to find an English pen friend so that I can get more improvement. Can you help me to find one? Id like to have a boy, who is of my age and is fond of traveling and sports, to be my pen friend. In my opinion, people of the same age often have something to exchange. Thats why I want him to be of my age. If he likes doggy, that would be better because I can tell him something about my little doggy.Id be very thankful if you can help me. Hope to hear from you! Best regards, Li Hua 名師點評： 從整體上來說，本文寫得還是符合要求的，內(nèi)容完整，要點和結(jié)構(gòu)也很齊全。語言的使用不在于華麗的辭藻而在于其一些復雜句子的組織。最值得我們學習的就是像好詞和好句中列舉的表達法。全文流暢而連貫，適合于模仿。 積累卡片 好詞1.improvement n 改進2.do sb. a favor 幫助某人3. doggy n.小狗 好句1. Id like to have a boy, who is of my age and is fond of traveling and sports, to be my pen friend.我想尋找一個和我年紀相仿，喜歡旅游、體育的男孩來做我的筆友。 好處：of my age 年紀相仿；be fond of 喜歡。 2.Thats why I want him to be of my age，這就是為什么我希望筆友跟我年紀相仿的原因。 好處：用why引導的從句做表語從句。
全國卷II：滿分范文一 【滿分范文】 滿分文(一) Welcome to Baishan Mountain Hotel! Baishan Mountain Hotel is now open for business. 500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, it provides singleperson room, of which the price is RMB100 yuan per day and the number is 20, and 15 doubleperson rooms, with a price of RMB 150 yuan per day. It also provides hot water bath service. You can enjoy both Chinese and western food in the restaurant and drink coffee and tea in the cafe. The swimming pool is open for free the whole day. All these services can bring great convenience to you and are very enjoyable. So come to enjoy yourself! Welcome to book rooms in Baishan Mountain. 名師點評： 本文開門見山，首先點明了主旨。本文最大的特點是應(yīng)用了很多比較復雜的句式，使文章比較出彩。開頭使用了獨立結(jié)構(gòu)交代賓館位置。which引導的非限制性定語從句的使用也很正確?？偟貋碚f，文章句式精煉，是篇不錯的滿分作文。 積累卡片 好詞1. provide v.提供2. convenience n.便利 好句All these services can bring great convenience to you and are very enjoyable. 所有這些服務(wù)都會給你帶來便利，并且非常的愉快。 好處：bring great convenience，帶來便利。 滿分文(二) Welcome to Baishan Mountain Hotel! Baishan Mountain Hotel is now open for business. The hotel is located 500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, a very convenient position to go sightseeing in the Baishan Mountain. There are two kinds of rooms for service: singleperson room, 20 in total and RMB 100 yuan per day and doubleperson room, 15 in total and RMB 150 yuan per day. The hot water bath is provided as well. We serve both Chinses and western food in the restaurant as well as coffee and tea in the cafe. All are provided in a short time. The swimming pool, which is open for the whole day, is free for you to come. We accept booking rooms ahead of time. So come and enjoy! 名師點評： 本文敘述比較詳細，使用了比較復雜的句式和短語。首句的伴隨狀語用得很好。在介紹房間類型時，作者使用了簡短的對比句式，很精煉。作者還使用了定語從句which，同時在描述酒店的兩種價格的時候也很恰當，語句生動而不重復。 積累卡片 好詞1. sightseeing n.觀光旅游2. book v.登記；預訂 好句1. The hotel is located 500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, a very convenient position to go sightseeing in the Baishan Mountain. 賓館在距離白山入口處500米的地方，這對于參觀白山來說是一個很方便的位置。 好處：伴隨狀語的使用很到位。 2. The swimming pool, which is open for the whole day, is free for you to come. 游泳池全天免費開放。 好處：which引導了非限制性定語從句。
北京卷：滿分范文一 【滿分范文】 第一節(jié)情景作文 滿分文(一) Dear Harry, How are things going? Last Monday, my class held the monitor election, a fierce competition between two students really. First, the two candidates, Liu Dong and Wang Hong, gave their election speeches respectively. Then other students wrote a name of the candidate on paper and put it into a box. The teacher counted the number of pieces of paper voting for the two candidates fairly. Finally, Wang Hong got 28 votes while Liu Dong got 15. So Wang Hong became our monitor. It was an interesting election, isnt it? Hope to hear from you. Best wishes, Li Hua 名師點評： 本文敘述內(nèi)容完整而翔實。最突出的優(yōu)點就是結(jié)構(gòu)分明。作者通過使用了first，then，finally等表示順序的詞語，使文章層次感顯得很強。其次，詞語句式方面，作者也以簡單句為主，增加了一份簡練，流暢而自然。 積累卡片 好詞1.respectively ad.各自地2.vote v. 選舉3.election n. 選舉 4. fierce a.激烈的 好句1. Last Monday, my class held the monitor election, a fierce competition between two students really.上周一，我們班舉行了一次班長選舉，兩個候選人競爭激烈。 好處：句式的使用很有特點。 2. Wang Hong got 28 votes while Liu Dong got 15. 王紅得到了28票，而劉東得到了15票。 好處：while的使用很地道，表示并列情形。 滿分文(二) Dear Harry, How are things going? Last Monday, our class held the monitor election. The two candidates gave their speeches first and after that other students put the paper with the name of the ideal monitor into a box. The teacher made a calculation of the number of names voted by other students. At last the result was: Wang Hong got 28 votes while Liu Dong got 15. In that sense, Wang Hong won the election. Id like to know how the monitor election is conducted in your class.Hope to hear from you. Best wishes, Li Hua 名師點評： 本文敘事平穩(wěn)，內(nèi)容完整。詞語使用平實，語法運用恰到好處，以準確的表達拿到比較高的分數(shù)。本文按圖敘事，用first, after that, at last連接，結(jié)構(gòu)分明。長短句綜合運用，句式富于變化。 積累卡片 好詞1. calculation n.計算2.candidate n.候選人 好句1. The teacher made a calculation of the number of names voted by other students. 老師將其他同學選出的名字加以匯總。 好處：voted，動詞的過去分詞作狀語。 2. Id like to know how the monitor election is conducted in your class. 我想知道你們班班長競選是如何進行的。 好處：how引導的從句做賓語。 第二節(jié)開放作文 There is a bird in the nest in the tree. She is the mother of her four children. Seeing her children flying happily in the sky, she feels very delighted. The four birds will be able to live independently and another circle of life will begin. How wonderful nature is! 名師點評： 本文發(fā)揮想象，設(shè)想四只小鳥即將飛離母親的庇護去自己生存，并由此引出生命輪回。文章想象合理，展開得很恰當。語言生動而形象，作為一篇小作文，不但恰當而且值得學習。 積累卡片 好詞：1.independently ad.獨立地2. another circle of life生命的新輪回 好句：Seeing her children flying happily in the sky, she feels very delighted. 看到孩子們在空中自由地翱翔，她感到很愉悅。 好處：現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語表示伴隨狀態(tài)。
上海卷：滿分范文 【滿分范文】 Xiao Hong, our monitor and one of my good friends, got a cold last Monday and has been in hospital for three days. We suggested seeing her to show our concern. So yesterday we went to the hospital. Since I have known for long that Xiao Hong is fond of doggy, I bought a very cute doggy toy before going there. On seeing the toy, Xiao Hong couldnt help screaming. She hugged the toy which was so lovely and cute again and again. She was moved because we all came to see her. We expressed our hope that she could recover as soon as possible. I told her that the doggy represented my hope of her recovering and my cherishing of our friendship. I believe she will be well soon and come back to us again! 名師點評： 本文的寫作讓我們再一次領(lǐng)略到上海作文的水平。我覺得其優(yōu)勢主要體現(xiàn)在，其一，用詞準確生動，即通過有難度的詞匯的使用，將作者的意思準確地加以表達；其二，句式的變換和語法的應(yīng)用，即表達的問題。上述二者兼而有之，分數(shù)怎能不高？ 積累卡片 好詞：1. concern n.關(guān)心2. screaming a.尖叫的3.hug v.擁抱4.cherish v.珍愛 好句：1. We suggested seeing her to show our concern. 我們建議去看看她以表示我們對她的關(guān)心。 好處：suggest doing，建議做什么。 2. I told her that the doggy represented my hope of her recovering and my cherishing of our friendship. 我告訴她這個小狗代表了我希望她康復的愿望和對于我們友誼的珍愛。 好處：意思表達十分準確。 天津卷：滿分范文一
滿分文(一) How to Protect Our Eyesight As we can see in the picture, nowadays most students wear glasses because they are shortsighted due to high study pressure. With the help of glasses, they can see the blackboard clearly. This phenomenon must be paid attention to. We should reduce the time of reading and when we read, do read in the bright place so as to protect our eyes. Besides, the eye exercises are another way to keep eyes healthy. After school, wed better get more sleep so that the eyes can get more rest. As the saying goes, eyes are the window of our hearts. If you can follow the methods mentioned above, you can surely have a good eyesight. 名校點評： 本文采用三段論的方式，分析圖畫，提出建議，提出希望，敘述比較詳細。文中用了兩個伴隨狀語，使得文章非常連貫。這個獨立結(jié)構(gòu)也很好。此外，作者還是用了比較復雜的句子，We should reduce the...采用復合結(jié)構(gòu)，講出了多個保護視力的要點。 積累卡片 好詞1. phenomenon n.現(xiàn)象2. so as to 以便 好句1. With the help of glasses, they can see the blackboard clearly. 在眼鏡的輔助之下，他們才能將黑板看得更清楚。 好處：with引導狀語表示伴隨。 2. As the saying goes, eyes are the window of our hearts. 眾所周知的是，眼睛是心靈的窗戶。 好處：諺語的使用增光添彩。 滿分文(二) How to Protect Our Eyesight Look at the picture and you will find the worrying phenomenon: most students now wear glasses. Because of unhealthy ways of using eyes and high study pressure, students get shortsighted easily. However, we can do something to protect our eyes from getting shortsighted. When reading, make sure you are in the bright place and let your eyes rest every hour. If your eyes are aching,doing some eye exercises can relieve your eye tiredness. It will be good to your eyes to take enough sleep. I believe you can protect your eyes if you follow the tips. Hope every one of you have a clear world! 名師點評： 本文審題準確，要點完整而齊全。從結(jié)構(gòu)來說，首先提出問題，其次討論如何及為什么需要解決問題。文章長短句結(jié)合使用，句式變換而流暢。文章用詞地道而成熟，可以稱得上是一篇不錯的考場佳作。 積累卡片 好詞1. ache v. 疼痛2. pressure n. 壓力3. relieve v.緩解 好句1. However, we can do something to protect our eyes from getting shortsighted. 然而我們可以采取一些措施來保護我們的眼睛免于近視。 好處：do something to，采取措施。 2. If your eyes are aching, doing some eye exercise can relieve your eye tiredness. 如果你的眼睛感到疼痛，做眼操可以緩解你的視力疲勞。 好處：動名詞作主語引導從句。 重慶卷：滿分范文一 【滿分范文】 滿分文(一) Dear Amy, Im Li Hua from Xinhua Middle School of China. Im sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brought you great pain. But you should realize that you are young and have a promising great future. So, stand up and fight against the disease! Im sure you will win. It is reported that the America anticancer association will donate three cents upon every comfort letter you receive. So I will tell your situation to all my friends and ask them to write to you. In that way, you will get enough money for you to be cured. Hope you can be well soon. Yours, Li Hua 名師點評： 本文依照要求，涵蓋了所有要點。文章使用了高中常見的句式，如Im sorry to hear that..., It is reported that...等，都比較好。作者對定語從句的使用恰到好處地修飾了文章，行文自然而通順，值得學習。 積累卡片 好詞1.realize v.意識到2.promise v.允諾3.donate v.捐贈 好句1. Im sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brings you great pain. 我很遺憾地得知你身患肺癌，給你帶來了巨大的痛苦。 好處：which引導限制性定語從句。 2. So, stand up and fight against the disease! 因此，堅強地與疾病做斗爭吧！ 好處：擲地有聲，語言準確。 滿分文(二) Dear Amy, My name is Li Hua, a student from Xinhua Middle School in China. I have got to know that you got lung cancer and are in great pain. Sorry to hear that. But since you are young, the disease wont be very serious and you can beat it. It is said that the more letters you receive, the more money the America anticancer association will donate. For every letter, they give three cents. So I will try as hard as possible to persuade my friends to write to you so as to help you get enough money to cure the disease. Im sure you will be OK soon. Yours, Li Hua 名師點評： 文章整體來說一氣呵成，銜接自然。通過諸如原因狀語從句的使用，使得文章內(nèi)容飽滿，過渡自然，較好地使用了諸如but，so之類的連詞。文章使用了“the +比較級，the +比較級”的句式，十分出彩。 積累卡片 好詞1. cure v.治愈2. association n.協(xié)會3.donate v.捐贈 好句1. But since you are young, the disease wont be very serious and you can beat it. 但是因為你還比較年輕，疾病不會很嚴重，你能夠戰(zhàn)勝它。 好處：since，引導原因狀語從句。 2. It is said that the more letters you receive, the more money the America anticancer association will donate. 據(jù)說你收到的信越多，美國抗癌組織捐給你的錢就越多。 好處：the +比較級，表示強調(diào)。
江蘇卷：滿分范文一 【滿分范文】 滿分文(一) Good afternoon, everyone, The national student sports program, waged by the Ministry of Education and aimed at improving students health, was held from 10：00am~11:00am on April 29，2007 in many primary and middle schools all over China. Almost 11 million students in Jiangsu province participated in this program. The Ministry of Education advocates that we do exercises for one hour a day and can work healthily for 50 years. Our whole life will be very enjoyable. In my opinion, we senior high school students should do exercises for one hour a day even though our spare time is limited. Health is a basic condition for our study. If we did not do exercises, we wouldnt be able to get good study records. So every one of you, join the program now! Thank you! 名師點評： 積累卡片 好詞1.wage v.發(fā)動2.aim v.瞄準3. advocate v.提倡 好句1. The Ministry of Education advocates that we do exercises for one hour a day and can work healthily for 50 years. 教育部提倡我們每天做一個小時的運動，能夠健康地活50年。 好處：advocate，其后接虛擬語氣，可以省略情態(tài)動詞。 2. If we did not do exercises, we wouldnt be able to get good study records. 好處：虛擬語氣 滿分文(二) Good afternoon, everyone, Its my honor to be here to give you a speech. On April 29，2007 the national student sports program was held from 10∶00am~11∶00am in many primary and middle schools all over China. It is the Ministry of Education that promotes this program. In Jiangsu, about 11 milloin students took part in the activity. The theme of this program is “do exercises for one hour per day, work for 50 years healthily and lead a happy life”. In my viewpoint, this is quite good for us senior students. We do exercises one hour a day and we can gain health, which lay a solid foundation for our future. That will be very good. So boys and girls，come and join us now! Thank you! 名師點評： 文章的結(jié)構(gòu)很清楚，內(nèi)容和要點把握得也比較完整。本文十分符合演講稿的要求，寫得比較出色。第一段中用了強調(diào)句，指出了發(fā)起項目的主體。作者用并列的方式解釋了主題，十分出色。定語從句也用的很好、很到位。 積累卡片 好詞1. promote v.促進2. foundation n.基礎(chǔ)3. gain v.獲得 好句1. It is the Ministry of Education that promotes this program. 是教育部推動了這個計劃。 好處：強調(diào)句的使用十分準確。 2. We do exercises one hour a day and we can gain health, which lay a solid foundation for our future. 每天鍛煉一小時我們的身體就會很健康，而這也為將來打下了堅實的基礎(chǔ)。 好處：lay a solid foundation，為…打下堅實基礎(chǔ)。 浙江卷：滿分范文一 【滿分范文】 滿分文(一) I prefer my English classes to be taught in both English and Chinese, whose advantage is that it is easy for us to understand what the teacher talks about. The teacher first teaches the class in English, and then she explains those that are hard to understand to us so that we get a better knowing of the passage. That will be good for us. However, teaching the class in two languages will make the English atmosphere not so strong. Some students who wish to be taught in English will be disappointed. Except for the disadvantage, I think it is really good to hear two languages in classes. It can make us more familiar with the foreign culture. 名師點評： 積累卡片 好詞1.advantage n.優(yōu)點2.be familiar with，對某人熟悉3. atmosphere n.氣氛 好句1. I prefer my English classes to be taught in both English and Chinese, whose advantage is that it is easy for us to understand what the teacher talks about. 我更喜歡采用雙語教學，其優(yōu)點是可以更好地理解老師的話。 好處：定語從句很好地組織了復雜句，同時prefer等詞組的使用很地道。 2. Some students who wish to be taught in English will be disappointed. 那些希望英語授課的學生們可能會失望了。 好處：定語從句和wish to do的使用。
I prefer my English classes to be taught only in English because it is helpful for us to improve the ability of speaking and listening in a very short time. I have strong interest in English study and foreign culture, so Id like to be totally immersed in the atmosphere of English so that I can quickly make progress. Thats why I prefer total English. However, since we are all English beginners, its really hard to understand all that the teacher says. Sometimes we need Chinese explanation. So my viewpoint is that we are taught not only in English but also using Chinese as a minor way to explain things that are hard to understand. 名師點評： 本文寫作十分成功。語言和句式是本文最大的特點。好詞中詞匯的使用，將作者的意思表達得完整而準確，從而映襯了詞匯的重要性；其次，本文的句式以復雜句為主，表語、定語和狀語從句的使用都十分到位。 積累卡片 好詞：1. immerse v.沉浸2. explanation n.解釋3. make progress 取得進步 好句：1. I have strong interest in English study and foreign culture, so Id like to be totally immersed in the atmosphere of English so that I can quickly make progress. 我對英語學習和外國文化有著濃厚的興趣，因此我想沉浸在英語的學習氛圍中，使得我能更快地進步。 好處：be immersed in 沉浸其中；so that 表示目的。 2. So my viewpoint is that we are taught not only in English but using Chinese as a minor way to explain things that are hard to understand. 好處：表語從句使用正確。 |
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